Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Faith and Action

     I was painting this morning and thinking about everything and everything I want to do and I got a sudden urge to stop and go read a passage out of this new devotional book I got recently called "Come Away My Beloved" by Francis J Roberts... it hit everything that has been running through my head the last couple days and all I could do was just laugh at myself.
I figured, I'm not the only one so I decided to share it with y'all!

Faith and Action
     My promises are of no avail to thee except as ye apply and appropriate them by faith. In thy daily walk, ye shall be victorious only to the degree that ye trust Me. I can help thee only as ye ask. I shall meet you at every point where ye put action alongside thy prayers. Only as ye WALK shall the waters of adversity be parted before thee. Overburdened as the world is with trouble and sickness, I need those who have proved My sufficiency in everyday, personal experience to lead the suffering to the fountains of life. I need those who what found Me as burden-bearer to help bring deliverance to the oppressed. 
     Never begrudge time given to chronic complainers, but recognize in each encounter the opportunity to speak a word that may lead to their liberation. No case is too hard for Me. Never be taken by surprise when I use you to change a pattern. Do not judge a man by what he appears to be, but see him as what he CAN be if he give himself unreservedly to Me. 

No matter who you are dealing with, what you are going through, how big your dreams are, He will walk us through it if we trust Him. And He wants us to dream. Like a child He wants us to come to Him with no restraint and no holding back with bright eyes, big smiles and even bigger dreams. When you're a kid it doesn't matter because you think you can do anything. Who says that has to stop? In Mark it is written

"Truly I say to you, 
whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child
 does not enter it at all"
 (Mark 10:15)

Speaking of dreams... I love this song and it has the same "no matter how big, keep going, even if it kills you." It's the new single from the Eli Young Band  Even if it breaks your heart

"Way back on the radio dial 
A fire got lit inside a bright eyes child
Every note just wrapped around his soul
From steal guitars to Memphis all the way to rock and roll...

Oh, I can hear 'em playing
I can hear the ringing of a beat up old guitar
Oh, I can hear them singing
Keep on dreamin' even if it breaks your heart"

Til the next new day ♥ ,

Saturday, January 7, 2012

What happened to TN?

If you were to ask me when I was 10 what I was going to do after high school, I would have told you I was going to Tennessee (oh and driving a lime green VW bug. the new one, not the vintage one).

If you were to ask me when I was in junior high what my favorite songs were (you know the "i'll sit in my car and wait for you to end before I turn the engine off" songs) I would have told you "Walking in Memphis" by Marc Cohen (the acoustic piano version) and "Maybe it was Memphis" by Pam Tillis. I guess I wanted to know what a Tennessee lullaby was.

If you were to ask me in high school what schools I was looking at, it was Washington State, Arizona State, the University of Arkansas (randomly enough they have an ok journalism program), Southern Oregon University, California State University in Chico, the University of Oregon (which is where I ended up for my freshman year before transferring to OSU) and the University of Tennessee. Then I was told I didn't need to move across the country. but we all know how that turned out.

If you were to ask me last year what I was going to do when I graduated, I was going to buy a truck, pack it up and straight up move to Franklin (outside Nashville). I even contacted the area director there at one point.

So what happened to TN? Nothing really, but I do think it's interesting how God uses things in our lives to bring us where he wants us in that particular moment. If you look at a map I'm only 2.5 hours away from Memphis. And about 6 from Nashville. 7 from Chattanooga. and like 8 or 9 from Knoxville. It's a very long state. Some have told me before "you're so close, why don't you just keep going?" Others think the only reason why I have a Vols shirt is cause of this guy I met at work. I will have you know that I have had that for quite some time now.

I went to Nashville this summer for the day while I was at Sharp Top and it was one of the best days of my life. I wore my favorite skirt, my favorite boots and went to the Country Music Hall of Fame, StudioB, Wildhorse Saloon, Broadway, and a bunch of other stuff (granted I was there for like 12 hours) but I have never had that much fun by myself! I use to drive back and forth from Conway, AR to Jasper, GA through TN and would always stop in Chattanooga. The river front is really awesome and really pretty. It was a great place for me to relax before finishing my drive.

No I'm not there yet but I think I will be. Someday. Somehow. When or why I couldn't tell you but He buts dreams in you for a reason. He knows what is music to your ears and makes your heart sing and weak at the knees. Some say I need to be an adult now but I say 22 is still growing up. And with growing up comes exploration and adventure.
Well friends, I say I got a lot of adventures to explore.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Amabala Emoh Teews

That's Sweet Home Alabama backwards

It's one of my favorite movies, and recently in a lot of ways I've realized that my life is somewhat similar to the story of Melony Smooter... only backwards... and without the whole marriage/divorce drama. I can honestly say that I don't have that much boy drama in my life.

You see Melanie "Carmichael" Smooter has a past. A past that she tries to run from and does everything to hide. She grew up in Pigeon Creek, Alabama and after things go south (no pun intended) she runs to New York City to start a new life, with a new name, trying to forget what she left. Which was her husband of course. Jake Perry, played by Josh Lucas (who randomly enough was born in Little Rock, AR yet graduated high school in Gig Harbor, WA... and isn't bad to look at either) is a deep south man who is trying to make something of him self somewhere in Alabama while still holding onto a dream he's had since he was ten years old. Mel. She comes back from NY to settle their divorce and long story short well... stays with her roots, doesn't marry the Yankee and Felony Melanie and Mr. Perry stay in Sweet Home Alabama. I don't really feel bad about ruining the ending since the movie is now 10 years old.

But the part that I have always related to Melanie more about would be when she is back in her home town and part remembering why she left and a lot of her character is just trying to find out who she is. I love that she came home back down south and the love story between Melanie and Jake is classic and heart breaking every time but one of my favorites to watch over and over. The reason I call my life backwards from hers well for one, I went backwards. I moved South, and sometimes come home and while I don't re-fall in love with my husband, I do relate how she feels a lot of time. Sometimes I wonder if I am running away from something. I remember on the drive down here thinking, "no body knows me here. I could be a completely different person and no one would know. I could start over. Change my identity and never look back." That's what Melanie did. That is what I have thought about doing before and there are somedays where I just wish I grew up down here. Then I go home and wish I never left.
There is a scene with Jake and Melanie sitting in the "Coon Dog Grave yard" after a night with their friends two stepping when they are talking and Melanie says "I'm happy in New York Jake, but then I come down here and this fits too" then Jake says "who says you can't have both." That's how I feel half the time. Why can't I have both?
What am I looking for?
Why do I want to keep exploring? Keep going places? Where am I even going?
Why am I so restless? What is it that I'm looking for?
You know I use Young Life as the reason I moved but am I actually running from something? Someone? Can I do that? Does it just go away?
You know sometimes I pretend to actually have a southern accent so strangers think I grew up somewhere in TN. Couldn't tell y'all why but I do.
I like being free and being able to just jump in my car on my day off and go somewhere right then and there. But then sometimes I wish I had my best friend I've known since the 10th grade right there with me. Just someone to make more memories with.
When I figure out what I'm doing, I'll call ya. Til the next new day ♥ ,

Sunday, January 1, 2012

One More Year?

What would you do if you knew there was only one more year?

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Now well I most definitely do not believe that the world is going to end with 2012 the theory's have got me thinking. What would I do if I knew I only had one more year? Honestly I don't think I know. Make the most of it I guess. I'd laugh everyday. Pray more than that. Tell him I love him. Kiss someone. Dance without caring again. Put it all on the line. Have more dates with myself. Have a date with someone else. Fly home again. Tell my brothers about Jesus. Go visit Jackson in California. Go to Disneyland.... twice! Run a race. Cheer again. Perform again. Visit every YL camp. Keep my room clean. Pay for someones drink behind me in line. Eat some good food. Just not care. Explore TN. Go to another Bowl game. Watch the Beavs one more time.

When thinking this list the one thing I keep thinking is "why can't I do this now?"
I can. I should. I think I'm going to. Maybe. Hopefully.
Most people think I am so strong and courageous and will do almost anything and I will, exept when it comes to myself. If it means doing anything for me then it's a slim chance I won't. I don't even like giving myself breaks at work. I love planning things for other people though. I just don't have anyone to plan for anymore.
I think that was my favorite part about being in a relationship. Planning surprises for them when they are not expecting it. I love getting people things when it's not their bday or christmas, and I love taking someone somewhere I know will put a smile on their face. I guess I'm just a people person. I loved being able to take care of someone. Cook dinner. Give them a shoulder massage. Surprises in the city. Secret notes. I miss it.
Who says 2012 doesn't have to be like that? Til the next new day ♥ ,