Saturday, January 29, 2011

Little Miss....

Little Miss down on luck
Little Miss I give up
Little Miss I'll get tough don't you worry about me anymore

Little Miss checkered dress
Little Miss one big mess
Little Miss I'll take less when I alway give so much more

It's alright It's alright it's alright
sometimes you gotta lose til ya win
It's alright it's alright it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm ok
It'll be alright again, I'm ok
It'll be alright again,I'm ok

Little Miss do your best
Little Miss never rest
Little Miss be my guest I'll make more anytime it runs out

Little Miss you'll go far
Little Miss hide your scars
Little Mis who you are is so much more than you like to talk about

It's alright It's alright it's alright
sometimes you gotta lose til ya win
It's alright it's alright it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm ok
It'll be alright again, I'm ok
It'll be alright again, I'm ok

Hold on 
You are Loved

Little Miss brand new start
Little Miss do your part
Little Miss big ol' heart beats wide open she's ready now for love

It's alright It's alright it's alright
sometimes you gotta lose til ya win
It's alright it's alright it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm ok
It'll be alright again, I'm ok
It'll be alright again,I'm ok


Just a Quickie

I was in Dutch Bros today and it occured to me that A) I couldn't remember the last time I actually ORDERED coffee from there and B) the guy behind the counter had no idea who I was. I am not trying to sound conceded by any means but for those of you who don't know about the last 3 years of my life, while dating Brendon I spent a good majority of my life there. I created the menu board that is currently up, I knew every person who worked there and could probably tell you a good portion of the morning regulars drink orders.... and just in a few months POOF! all of that is gone. It amazes me how fast life moves sometimes, how fast God can turn a corner with where he is having us go. My life is completely different. I am a completely different person and the person that I spent 3 years investing in and sharing life with has no idea. Crazy. I'm not gonna lie though, it was kinda nice just being another regular customer. I was talking to the barista for a little bit and he told me that I should come in more often. I just smiled and laughed (he has no idea that it is incredibly strange for me to be there now) and all I said was "we'll see."

Friday, January 28, 2011

Play me some Mountain Music!

I don't think I will ever be able to escape the glory that is country music. But GOOD country music like the old school stuff I grew up on (Alabama, Garth, and do I even need to mention Brooks & Dunn?), none of this rascal  swiftness pop cross genre crap... ok don't get me wrong, on the occasion I do love a little Rascal Flatts and even T-sweezy but sorry ya'll they will never compare.
I don't even know where this whole country dance craze came from in our little town of Corvallis but it's pretty amazing. Never in my life did I think that my college experience was going to involve learning how to Texas two-step and that a "Horseshoe" was more than a game you played at a family picnic. And who knew I'd be so into it! Ok well that's not a complete shocker that I would love dancing, cause I haven't been doing that all my life or anything! But now that I know what I am doing and am constantly learning more and more moves, thanks to ONE of my lovely dance partners Bradley who I feel like is always coming to class with a new swing move for use to try, I have people asking me to teach them! Not gonna lie, I kinda like it :) I love teaching people and I love seeing people succeed and it kinda boosts my ego a little bit too, which who couldn't use that from time to time right?! haha I keep telling people that Oregon is the "south of the west" and no one seems to believe me but head to Eagles in Albany on a Thursday night or up to Bushwackers and you'll see what I mean. It's such a thrill and a work out too! As the girl or "follow," we get the privilege of being swung and thrown and flipped and spun and I would be lying if I said I didn't absolutely love every minute of every dance. I love dancing, and I love being spun around. It makes me feel pretty, haha is that weird? It just makes me feel graceful and beautiful when a guy can spin you and hold you on the dance floor. You can tell a lot about a guy by how he holds you on the dance floor. It's true! Tricks are my favorite though. I think that's why I pole vaulted in high school, I just love flying and I am fearless! After cheering competitively for Kim Kawachi, you get use to being dropped and having bodies fall on top of you and not crying about it. She always told us "If the football boys can do it then so can you!" I kinda like that though, I like being tough, makes learning tricks a whole lot easier when you're not afraid to literally fall flat on your face.

So I am currently reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, (I feel like a lot of people are reading this right now but oh well).... Right now in the book he want's us to read the gospels straight through, and get what God intended us to get out of them. So tonight is Matthew, which if you read the post before this you'll know that part of that book has already speaking heavy on my heart.
I was talking to a friend tonight that is just more reassurance of where I am suppose to be going right now and what I am suppose to be doing. I have a couple phone calls and meetings tomorrow but I really wish I could tell you guys and make this public knowledge. I know that there are a couple people who know bits and pieces to this story but until I am ready to make it public I would ask that those of you can hold on talking about it at all. But until then I would ask that ya'll be praying for me and specifically for finances. I am ready to make this move but I can't physically do anything about it until I figure how to make it work financially. And I know God has it under control but I just ask that you be praying that He is taking care of this and that it will be able to happen financially.

~ ~
play me some mountain music
like grandma and grandpa use to play
then i'll float on down the river
to a cajun hide-a-way

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I'll tell ya til ya get it

There have been a couple verses that have been popping up lately and I can't help but feel like God is trying to tell me something.... here see what you think :

Isaiah 6:8 .... And I heard the voice of the Lord saying "Whom shall we send and who will go for us?" Then I said "Here I am! Send me!"

Luke 10:45 ... For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.

Chronicles 16:8 ... Oh give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples.

John 15:16 ... You did not choose Me but I chose you and appointed you so that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

Matthew 6:25-34 ...  Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, not about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you,O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious saying 'What shall we eat?' of 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble.

hmmm..... what do you think ;-) 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

YL 4 life

Club planning last night was awesome and so productive. I can't wait for all y'all to come to YL club on Feb 12th!! and guess who is talking? you're truly! I was so glad to be a part of last night (not to mention the cookies that Pecor brought were too good!) but just the reaffirming that this is what I love to do, this is my ministry. I have pages among pages of scripts and skits and program characters that would be great for club. I steal everything I can, games, shirt ideas, everything from other areas just dying to try them in Corvallis! I originally wanted to take my campaigner girls to Malibu discipleship weekend in May but there is a good chance that I might not be here to do so. So I want to take them camping instead! Somewhere not too remote but just on a little trip with nothing but each other and God. Rach will be the one taking them to camp, and I really want Kylee and Kaity to do work crew. Kaity I am hoping that she might be able to do Windy Gap. I am not sure how that process will look though. 

I have realized though that as fired up as I get about walking with high schoolers and being a tool that God is using in their life, and making them laugh, a new desire of mine has been with developing college aged kids and new leaders. Just because you're in college now doesn't mean that you're automatically an adult. Younglife is a big commitment and I have seen so many leaders get thrown into a campaigner group within  two weeks of showing interest in the ministry and they get burnt out. I want to be there to help them, walk with them, let them shadow another leader and see if these kids and this ministry is really what you're up for and where God's calling you. 

But no matter where I am or what I'm doing, I know that I'll always be in Younglife 4 Life

God's Moving Mountains

Ok family, this is mainly for you but I just want you all to know that the last 24 hours have been incredibly strange and amazing at the same time. God is defiantly moving some mountains in my heart and in the next week or so I might be able to tell you what could happen in the next month or so. Just know that whatever happens remember the little girl you watched grow up. Her spirit, drive and adventurous heart that has always been on the run whether it was my first summer camp at 8 years old, touring London or saving the rain forest in Costa Rica for two weeks. And remember that all y'all, Mom, Dad, Mimi and Papa raised me to be a strong, fighting, independent Girl Scout who is always prepared no matter what may come my way.

Mom, you always taught me to find out all the details and all the options (even if you're not so good with options.... ok maybe only at Coldstone) so that's what I'm doing. I'm gathering as much information as I can so I can't say anything prematurely. But what I can tell y'all is this.....

No matter what happens I have the greatest tool I could ever have on my side. Jesus Christ. If you guys don't know by now, everything I do is because of Him. I live my life following where God is leading me and I can do nothing but go and I know that He will protect me. His purpose is always for good. It's not always going to put me in a comfortable situation but nevertheless it's going to be good. So please all I am going to ask is that you guys trust me. Remember the little girl but know that I am not that little girl anymore. I mean really, did you guys really think that ME of all people was going to stay in one spot forever? ;-)
That's what I thought. So trust me, trust God, trust that I am trusting God and I promise I'll be ok and that you'll know as soon as I do!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Funny Joke Jill...

You know what I find incredibly funny? The fact that I am still trying to make plans for myself. I know right?! It seems like every time I have a new plan for what I am doing with my life and what the next "season" is going to look like, God laughs at me and throws another curve ball. Almost 8 months ago I was preparing myself in the mind set that I was going to marry the guy I was with and live a life full of concerts, traveling and music, basically being a groupie to the band he was managing. This last summer I tried to tell God and the world that I was going to "take a break" from YoungLife for the summer.... yeah right, I somehow got placed on zip/swing 3rd session without knowing I even applied and it was the best assignment I have EVER been on. Not three months ago I was suppose to be moving to Portland with my current roommate after the year was over and I was done with school at Oregon State. Not 3 weeks ago I was convinced that I was going to leave everything behind and move to Franklin, TN and just lead Younglife and live in the south. Even making plans for this summer for the past 2 years I knew I wanted to apply for a summer intern at WFR: Creekside for it's first summer ever, then randomly I decided to apply for Sharp Top as well and would almost rather get that one. That would involve moving to GA for the summer. As if that wasn't enough to throw my plans for a loop a week and a half ago I get an email from a friend and mentor telling me about another program that is underway that could take me to a part of the country that I would have never dreamed of for at least 2 years helping start more YL clubs at high schools in an area that isn't developed yet. I'm not really suppose to talk about that one so that's all I can say for now. But wait, it gets better.... LAST NIGHT I had a random conversation with a friend that could change my life dramatically in the next month or so. During the conversation and after there was no doubt in my mind that it was God talking. It wasn't him talking and trying to convince me what I should do but it was conviction from the Holy Spirit that I would be stupid to ignore. When something is so true to the point where I was lying in a ball on the floor of my room on the phone with someone on the other side of the country helping me realize that well guys, let's just say I'm not going to be in Corvallis for long. I was shaking and crying for about 20 minutes just thinking of what was breaking my heart 2,263 miles away.

Sometimes we think that we are living out Gods will but in reality we are just living out our own emotions and decisions we are making in our life but we are so comfortable making them and being where we are that we fail to recognize if it really is what the creator is calling us to do. More often than not He's not going to put us in a comfortable situation. But if we are going before the Lord humbly and asking for His guidance and for His help, sometimes he actual is building us as person rather than making us successful in the eyes of the world. So many of us refuse to listen to God because it's scary and it's hard. It's that simple. And it only takes that much for us to say "that's great and all but I don't really feel like it today." I think as Christians we get so caught up in living out Gods will and purpose means going somewhere and doing something crazy or going on some mission trip over seas or moving to some crazy place and a lot of times yeah, He's going to take you to some random place where you don't know anyone and you don't really want to be but if you look in scripture it's all over the place where the purpose that we have is to love His people. People have choices and God works inside of us. It is His purpose that is God. Most of the time we over think the worse case scenario but you know what, it's only the "worse case" the way we see it. Nothing will be a worry when we recognize that His purpose is always good. Again good doesn't always mean comfortable. It almost never means comfortable. But before we can understand what Gods purpose for my life is we have to realize Gods #1 purpose was to find me. He came to find me. If we can grasp that first than everything else is secondary.

So the question is do we want to work with God or fight against it? More often than not God wants me to do things that I don't want to do. And He will use me in ways that I don't want to be used. But He is preparing me. I still think back to the week at Wildhorse Canyon when Kent McDonald told us that God was calling us to come with Him and "do God stuff." And no one's got it figured out but man if there is anything I have learned in my walk so far is that when the Lord is opening a door saying "Go," ..... you GO!

2 Tim 2:20-12 ~ Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.

Ephesians 2:10 ~ For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Free Bird

Well here's the start I guess.... this week I have been realizing that I have this problem. It's not necessarily a bad problem but I have such an independent drive urge to go and see and do that well sometimes I forget to include the people I love. I don't try to be secretive and it's not that I don't want people to know what's happening and the great things that God is doing in my life day after day, it just doesn't even register in my brain that "maybe I should tell someone that I am fly across the country this weekend." It's crazy I know! And know that I am sorry to anyone who may feel left out, I know there are a couple people that I should be more diligent with in meeting with and catching up but know that I'm not trying to shut you out, it just happens.... ok that sounds bad, but that's exactly why I am starting this blog! Hebrews 10:24 says "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." This verse has come up so many times in the last couple weeks and has been placed so heavy on my heart as I think about all the people in my life that I just forget to call or text back. I know it's not an excuse but it's true, I just forget.
SO... here is one solution I have to the problem. I'm gonna write and if you want to be "in the know" so to speak, you can read. I am still going to try to try and be more diligent about connecting with my friends and family and great relationships that I know have been placed in my life for a reason but here is an easy way for y'all to know what I'm doing and what side of the country I am on! haha aight, well here we go!