.... you smile all day and act like you got it all together but you really want to scream.
... your friends are bolder than you are and try to "help" by doing things you are to chicken to follow through with
... it would just be easier if he was just another tool bag
... you're making up excuses for things that you can't even justify any more.
... you secretly are excited about where things can go but are too proud to admit it's really what you want.
... a simple smile makes you weak at the knees
.... things have gone wrong for so long so the minute something starts to go right you just wish it would keep going wrong because the possibility of something working out in your favor is scares the living @*^$^ out of you
... you want it so bad but you don't think you deserve it
... you want it so bad but you don't think they would ever want you
... you're afraid.
That's when God takes your life and shakes it like a snow globe with you trapped inside a whirlwind of water, glitter and fake snow and he's shaking it so hard that you keep hitting your head on the sides of the glass and the little castle trapped inside with you and then all of a sudden.... it stops shaking and every piece of fake snowfalls perfectly and the water is like an early morning on the lake and somehow things are just perfect.