Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The one I call Madre

       You know a dream is like a river/ Ever changing as it flows/ And a dreamers just a vessel/ Who must follow where it goes/ Trying to learn from what's behind you/ Never knowing what's in store/ Makes each day a constant battle/ Just to stay between the shores.

I will sail my vessel/ Til the river runs dry/ Like a bird upon the wind/ These waters are my sky/ I'll never reach my destination/ If I never try/ So I will sail my vessel/ Til the river runs dry

Many times we stand aside/ Let the waters slip away/ What we put off till tomorrow/ It has now become today/ So don't you sit up on the shoreline/ And say you're satisfied/ Choose to chance the rapids/ Dare to dance that tide

I will sail my vessel/ Til the river runs dry/ Like a bird upon the wind/ These waters are my sky/ I'll never reach my destination/ If I never try/ So I will sail my vessel/ Til the river runs dry

     There's bound to be rough waters/ And I know I'll take some falls/ With the good Lord as my captain/ I can make it through them all

      Most of you may think it's strange to start a post about my Mom with Garth Brooks lyrics but to me, that is my mom. My whole fascination with country music came from her and while she doesn't really listen to it anymore, Garth is still very high up on her list. When I think of the music I grew up on it's not the Backstreet Boys or Christina Agularia.... it's Garth Brooks and John Denver. 
     While some of you who have been around a while you know that my relationship with my mom hasn't always been the best. We are both strong willed and match that with my adventurous spirit and her need to know the details mindset, needless to say, we but heads on a number of things. But all in all she is my mom and while as we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, she is still my mom and I love her. Another note, as much as I try to fight it sometimes, I secretly love the fact that I am a clone of her. I can't tell you the number of times I have heard "Oh you must be Nancy's daughter!" There is a picture that hangs in my grandmas house that if you didn't know better and the quality of the picture wasn't aged, I would even think it was me. I talk like her, I laugh like her, I eat in order like her, I separate my M&M's like her, I keep lotion in my cup holder like her, once my cousin asked me "you tilt your head like your mom." I'm not really sure what that really means but it's true. 
     I got to see her yesterday for the first time since Christmas break and was probably the best two hours I have ever spent with my mom. I told her everything and there were a lot of tears and hugs and understanding between the two of us. It was a lot harder to leave that driveway than I thought it was going to be. 
     Never take your family for granted. Especially your mom. She was there when you were born, remember? She loves you and always wants the best for you and will probably never want you to grow up.

     This particular Garth Brooks song however I find pretty appropriate right now. This is my dream that is coming to life. This is the next phase of my life that I am stepping out in faith with the Lord and letting him steer me in the direction of His will. The last verse of the song.... technically I think it's the bridge or something..... says "There's bound to be rough waters and I know I'll take some falls, but with the good Lord as my captain I can make it through them all."  I can't express how true that is. Relying on myself alone I will fail. Without God in my life I wouldn't be where I am today and there is no way that I would be moving to Arkansas. The ministry of Younglife is the tool that I use to to reach kids and students and tell them about the good news that changed my life but ultimately the reason is God and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Keep dreaming and let God control your waters and guide your vessel.

Thank you everyone.
Til the next new day ♥ ,

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