Vulnerable

     So this post may or may not be inspired by a best friend of mine that is currently on the other side of the country because well... that's where she lives. I love her dearly and I wish I could be dancing with her right now at a country bar.  But regardless here is it.
I am... 22 years old and have lived in 4 states, 10 different "houses," and gone to 7 different schools.
I dream of traveling the world .....but long to become rooted in a community.
I day dream about falling in love .....but am scared out of my mind for relationship.
I crave attention .....but wish the same people would leave me alone.
I work 35+ hours a week .....but have always had a problem with keeping enough money to just survive.
I appear spontaneous and fun..... but need routine and structure and get thrown off when I don't have the same thing for breakfast everyday
I appear loud, silly and outspoken..... but have been watching the TV on mute all day.
I flirt and want my own prince .....but I don't trust men
I cry to my Father in heaven and rejoice in His love, grace, mercy and peace .....but sometimes choose the world over Jesus
I love being the center of attention..... but don't want people watching me.
Everytime I pass a mirror, or a reflective surface, I look at my self, fix my hair, pose and sometimes put on makeup just for sitting alone at home...... but criticize others for "trying to hard" and wearing too much makeup
I want people to notice me..... but I can't take a compliment
I want to be recognized..... but I'll never ask for a promotion
I wish sometimes someone would just do it for me..... but I never ask for help.
I love smiling..... but I hate my smile
I watch every video til I can quote it perfectly words, voice and body language.... I don't know what my real voice sounds like anymore
I secretly force myself to have a Southern twang..... but I protest every time someone tells me I do
I want a permanent dance partner..... but I never let the guy lead
I blog like I am the only one reading this and sometimes I wish it were true.... but I secretly wish everyone was reading it.
Learn to be vulnerable
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. He rescues those whose spirits are crushed."- Psalm 37:18