A Walking Day

     Due to some interesting circumstances the last couple days I was forced to use my feet as my primary mode of transportation rather than driving. Being from the NW this isn't something that is uncommon to me at all. I use to walk everywhere, all the time. I would take me about 45 minutes to get from one end of Corvallis to the other. I loved walking to and from campus at Oregon State and we lived right by a park where I use to go run. Even in growing up in Washington I walked to school from 7th grade on and it wasn't uncommon for me to walk "downtown" (or at least what they liked to call "downtown Covington" which I have learned has grown quite a bit since I left 4 or 5 years ago. I didn't even have my license til I was almost 18 years old. Regardless, I like walking, I use to do it a lot more, and the other day I got to enjoy it a little.
     It's funny what you see when you are walking that you don't see when you're driving. Or when someone else is driving, or you're riding public transportation (which Conway doesn't have btw). Conway however is a lot bigger than Corvallis, and lacking sidewalks in a lot of places and it took me a lot longer to get from one side of the town to another and I may have had my roommate come pick me up later but I did enjoy it.
     Walking gives me time to think. Time to process what's going on. Time to talk to God and rest in the beauty He made around me. Yesterday made me a little homesick though. It brought back memories of walking around Corvallis to and from campus, going to meet Hannah or walking by my friends houses and stopping in to see what they were up to. I did get to see two of them on Skype which made my whole day, and a voice mail from another brought so much happy to my heart. I do miss them on a daily basis and look forward to seeing all of them again so so soon!! But I am grateful for the community I am surrounded with in Conway. They have and are helping me through a lot and a lot of just being away from home. I say all the time that I don't know how long I'll be here but for now I'm right where I need to be.

Til the next new day ♥ ,

Community

     Freak of the Week fact about myself... I really like the sound a keyboard makes when you type on it. I remember in elementary school learning how to type and from then on every time I would walk by a computer I would type something, just to hear the sound it made. It was usually my name or a sentence like "i think the brown cow jumped over the fox and landed on the street." I know... I can be real creative sometimes. But I think that might be what I am doing now. Typing just to hear the sound of the keyboard.
     I just got back from a date night with the girls. We went to the new Buffalo Wild Wings in Conway (aka Buffalo aka BWW aka Bdubs aka The Place) and our original plan was to go see the Hunger Games (although I have already seen it) however the next three shows were all sold out! So we saw Mirror Mirror instead which is surprisingly really funny and pretty cute. We meet up with the guys afterwards at Zaza's.
     The last couple nights have been full of amazing community and fellowship and honestly just what the doctor ordered. I am a part of a new Missional Community through Fellowship Bible Church and our first night was so fun! I love conversations when we are ready to just be messy with everyone and share REAL life. We went from hilarious loud laughter to some of the most serious real talks I've had in a while. The last couple nights consisted of Family Dinner and a date to dinner and a movie with the Kaitlin and Bethany and then meeting up with the guys. Food. Friends. Fellowship. awesome.
     Community is so much more important than we think. We are meant to live life together and share life together. In Genesis God decided that it wasn't ok for Adam to be by himself. They went through every animal He had already created but none of them were right. That's when God made Eve. To be his friend, his helper, his lover. So neither one of them ever had to live life on their own. Now it's good to have personal time and refresh and recharge and have quiet time with you and the Lord but we are more tempted and easy to fall if we are our own accountability.
     For a good portion of my life it felt like the world was telling me that I had to do what we called "life" all by myself because no one else cared. Such a lie.
     I've been pretty homesick lately and missing Thursday nights dancing, cooking dinner for the "Bubs", hanging out at Katie, Shan and Adriana's, Sunday adventures with Hannah, Grace City Church, and just the people back home who were my community and know me really really well. And even though I might only be in Conway for a little while getting involved in community here and now is so important to my well being. No matter where you are, even if it's only for a short time, get involved. Get plugged in. Get in a Church where you are and not just waiting to go home for the weekend. Seek friends and community where you are in the here and now. Til the next new day ♥ ,

She gets me

     Last year as my internship at SharpTop Cove was coming to an end, I needed to find a place to live when I got back to Conway. With one of our leaders deciding at camp last year that she was going to move to Fayetteville, that left two people without roommates... myself and Jordan. So we decided to live together. Honestly we didn't know each other that well.. if at all when we made this decision but God brought us under the same roof for a reason. We clicked immediatley and get stressed out about when we haven't seen each other for more than 12 hours! She is like a sister that I never had and I am so thankful that she is in my life.
     There are a few people in this world that I can say really know me and who I am, who I was and the path that I have taken and sadly, most of them live 3,000 miles away. Most but one. Jordan understands where I am coming from, we have had to deal with a lot of the same issues growing up and even in the last year weather it be family, boys, school or who knows. Finding a friend who understands you, like really understands you is few and far between and I am so thankful to be roommates with this one :)

  

     We understand each other. We get our hurt and pain, and we understand what makes us laugh and smile, which helps in the fact that we are both just a little strange, but we're strange together! I can always count on Saturday morning adventures, usually to a flea market or a picnic at the park and conversations somewhere along the lines of...
         ME: Hey whatever happened to Aaron Carter?
         JORDAN: I don't know, I haven't heard from him since his parents left and he had that party.

  and constantly asking each other... "someone will love us one day right?"

     The other day she came to little rock to visit me at work and said she found a present for me. I thought it was from the Zoo since I was unable to go with her and Keirstin that day but oh no... even better!

I told you... she knows me! 

     Last night I came home from work to find her lying on our living room floor under the stars. yep we have an indoor star machine. We call it the Astrostar. I laughed, grabbed two popsicles out of the fridge and joined her. The rest of the night included us listening to the backstreet boys under the stars, building a fort out of blankets in our living room, watching Airplane, having real talk and a sleepover in our amazing fort that will probably last for the rest of Spring Break. 

     Some times I swear we are like an old married couple, especially when I get texts saying "let me know when you are on your way home so I can put dinner in the oven." 

I'm telling ya, I wouldn't trade her for the world!

Love you Jordan!!!

Til the next new day ♥ ,

32

     Congrats to all my friends who are ready move to the next chapter of their lives! Right now the count is at 31 but the rate they are going, I am sure it will continue to grow soon.  So congratulations everyone on your ENGAGEMENTS!!!! (I guess it's just that time!)

Katia Jainga-Longergan & Josh Tyson

Kari Foss & Chris Williams 

Bryan Janzing & Geneva

Rachel Nisbet & Stephen Stenberg

Adriana Jasso & Ryan Derrah

Laura Ford & Brett Sauer

Brett Eckler & Autum

Kelsey Martin & Darrick Stiff

Annalise Nickelberry & Thanh

Bucca & Lindsay

Kelsey Silver & Carter

Nicky Gowen & Mary 

Brittany Ivey & Jonathan Goins

Robyn Walsh & Tex Piper 

David Keniston & Jenni Olsen

Hannah Beth Dixon & Josh

Jeff Gratreak & Kelsey

Jacob VanBemmel & Lauren Bell

Morgan Loux & Sam

Beebo Russell & Hannah

Missy Austin & Jess

Sam Heilig & Rachel 

Jordan Gerding & Rachel 

Kevin Petermeyer & Karen

Amy Schafer & DJ 

Mark Hoffman & Lindsey

Kenneth Ernst & Anna Edmonds
Jessie Denning & Tim
Shelby Douglass & Collin
Thea Lynn & Matt
Jenna Logan & Kyle
Melissa Randich & Ali 

Til the next new day ♥ ,

Learning to Love Different

     The last couple days I've been in an interesting mood. I love what I'm doing but to be honest I am getting worn out. But the strange thing is, I find my self getting worn out from being myself. I had a talk with my roommate last night about just feeling different and I am so encouraged to have her in my life to keep my head above water. But in all of it I am learning that each of us were made exactly the way we are for a reason even if people say other wise. I know who I am but it's about being fully ok with that. I was reading my friend Katie's blog today (as you all should) and the encouragement I get from her is unreal. When I go home she is one that I make sure to connect with and in more ways than she probably even knows I wouldn't be where I am today with out her and our other friends that took me in and built me up last year.
     But regardless this is who I and no matter the looks I get, the assumptions made, the jokes I am the butt of... I am trying, in the midst of a world completely different from my own yet wonderful in it's own way... to love what I really am.

     { I love country music. I am really good at laser tag. Painting calms me and I like giving them away more than ever trying to sell them. I am a Young Life leader. I am in love with Jesus and grateful for what He did for me. I have 3 brothers, 20, 20 & 10, two are twins, one is autistic. My name is JILLIAN and I tolerate but isn't really a fan of Jill. I hate it when people call me Julian. I will laugh at just about everything. Dancing is an outlet for me. I am a really hard worker. I am naturally loud. If you won't lead, I will, but sometimes you can't let me. I want to share how much Jesus is in love with them to just about every high school and college girl I meet. As much as I want a boyfriend... I don't. I love cuddling. My love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. I usually always late, no matter how hard I try. I love musicals. I will dance in my house, in my car, and on the big stage. If I could teach everyone how to line dance, I would. I don't like Dave Matthews, the Avett Brothers or Adele and yes I still have a soul. I get defensive when people make fun of me. Most think I'm playing along but it really hurts. My interests are not the same of a lot of people. I love everything having to do with Disney. I think I'm pretty. I hate getting hit on at work or whistled at on the street. I love memorizing songs. I will rewrite something 20 times if I don't like my handwriting. I wish I could sing. I need words of encouragement. I love giving words of encouragement. When I say I love you, I mean it. My all time favorite song is "Jesse's Girl" by Rick Springfield. I have seen almost every season of Survivor. I love watching the Bachelor. I want to run the Amazing Race. I wish I had the nerve to go audition for Disney. I love doing contact work on a college campus. I hate school. I don't understand big words. If I tell a lie long enough, I begin to believe it. I over book myself. Belle is my favorite princess. My favorite date would include a hot dog stand, swings and going out dancing that night. I miss Oregon. I love the South. I am scared that I am too restless. I don't like how loud I am sometimes. A strong lead on the dance floor will tell me a lot about who you are off the floor. I think dirty jokes are really funny but will shut down when you make fun of women. As much as I like to go my own way, I am a people pleaser. Sometimes I wish I could breakout into song. Sometimes I do. I wish I was a runner. I like being the center of attention but I don't always want to be, and sometimes I feel obligated to be. I love exploring Nashville. If no one wants to go with me, that's not going to stop me from going. I like other things besides country music. I like good beer. I miss happy hour at McMennamins. I love road trips. I like watching stuff blow up. There is no time better than football season. Go Cougs. Go Beavs. My heart lies in the Pac-12. I have the Sportcenter and pintrest app on my phone. I want to see the Blazers in April in memphis. I hate baseball but I love the sound of a crack of the bat. My birthday is July 6, 1989. I love being in love. I have had something taken from me that I will never get back. My testimony is victorious and still being written by my heavenly Father. I am loud. I will never stop dancing. I like to be silent. .... } 


And that is just the start of what I am learning to love.


Til the next new day ♥ ,

Surprise!

Never underestimate the power God has to surprise you.
Just a simple word of wisdom for y'all today. I was recently blown out of the water on so many things that I don't even know where to begin. Pray for Him to surprise you today, because I guarantee He will ;) Til the next new day ♥ ,

Simple Inspiration from a Friend

     Lately it's been a lot of realizations of becoming a real adult. A real grown up where life is getting ahead of me and I am going to have to really buckle down and deal with some hard crap that I've hidden for so long. There are things that I want that I know I am not ready for and there are things that I feel ready for that I know won't be for a long while.
     With all that said I am deciding to just not focus on those things.... at least not right now. Right now I want to focus on the simple things that bring us inspiration as the day goes on and as life goes on. So these are some things that I love, that I have always loved and I will always love that make my jaw drop and heart sink and eyes sparkle.... one of my really good friends this a couple posts ago which in turned inspired me to think about this list. She's awesome and y'all should all check her out at http://katietheosucollegegirl.blogspot.com/

Star Gazing

Dancing

Dancing with someone

Mountain Views

Painting 

Road Trips

Disney Magic

Christmas Lights

Camp sites 

Fireside crackle

Daisy's 

a Lake Dock

Sound the water makes

Open Fields to take off running

Cuddling 

Massages 

Laughter that hurts

Little Giggles

Embarrassing moments

Human Touch

Smiles

Roller Coasters

Silence from Snow

Cooking and Singing in the kitchen

That's just some, there are always more things that I find through out the day that I thank God He has made these little things that make me smile and remember that life may be moving fast and I may be becoming an adult but I might not have to grow up... at least not quite yet :) 

Til the next new day ♥ ,

A Good Night Prayer

 And as I lay my head to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take....

     Lord I thank you for unanswered prayers and friends who love me. I thank you for people in my life who have the courage only through you to tell me out of love when I am screwing up and where I need help and that they love You enough to take action and help me when they know I won't seek it myself. 

     Lord I thank you for the kids we are serving and loving and the opportunity to speak into their lives. Lord we know that each kid was not a mistake and that there is a reason each leader holds validation with a different group of kids. Lord I thank you for differences and love. Lord I thank you for the unknown reason why I call the girls that I do. 

     Lord I pray for peace and settling with the things that I have done and the things that have been done to me. I pray that I am able to place them in the boxes they deserve to be put in as part of my past and things, people and events that made me who you are bringing me to today. Lord I pray that as I put these things there that You help me to keep them there. Using only when prompted by You in a way to share Your victory and love to a child of yours who may be coming to know you. 

     Lord I thank you for endless strong conversation and the reassurance a hug can do. Lord I thank you for your love and the love you show through others in my life. 

     Lord I thank you dancing and country music. It seems silly but that is who you made me to be and I wouldn't have it any other way and I know someday, someone will love it as much as me. 

     Lord I pray for college girls and high school girls in Conway that you have yet to have me meet. I pray that you are softening their hearts to you as we speak. 

     Lord as we sleep I pray that you protect the people I love. My family, my friends here in Conway and my friends back home. Let all of them know how much I respect having them in my life. Protect them tonight. 

     Lord I thank you for your love and your salvation.

amen

     

Til the next new day ♥ ,

This is what I do

   To everyone who is wondering what it is that I do. To all my friends that want to see another YL Club. To all the people that I've been trying to share what Young Life is.... here is a tiny window to what I am doing in Conway. I am a Young Life leader who shows up in the lives of high school and college girls. Every week with the high schoolers we have something called "Club." It's a chance for the kids to laugh and do things that they would have never expected and listen to a great message with their leader sitting right beside them.
     We kicked off our spring semester last night and I think I can speak for all the leaders when I say this semester is going to look a little different and we are all SO FREAKIN' EXCITED!!!!!
     So here is the start to what is going to be an awesome semester of Young Life in Conway, Arkansas!

Til the next new day ♥ ,

Faith and Action

     I was painting this morning and thinking about everything and everything I want to do and I got a sudden urge to stop and go read a passage out of this new devotional book I got recently called "Come Away My Beloved" by Francis J Roberts... it hit everything that has been running through my head the last couple days and all I could do was just laugh at myself.
I figured, I'm not the only one so I decided to share it with y'all!

Faith and Action
     My promises are of no avail to thee except as ye apply and appropriate them by faith. In thy daily walk, ye shall be victorious only to the degree that ye trust Me. I can help thee only as ye ask. I shall meet you at every point where ye put action alongside thy prayers. Only as ye WALK shall the waters of adversity be parted before thee. Overburdened as the world is with trouble and sickness, I need those who have proved My sufficiency in everyday, personal experience to lead the suffering to the fountains of life. I need those who what found Me as burden-bearer to help bring deliverance to the oppressed. 
     Never begrudge time given to chronic complainers, but recognize in each encounter the opportunity to speak a word that may lead to their liberation. No case is too hard for Me. Never be taken by surprise when I use you to change a pattern. Do not judge a man by what he appears to be, but see him as what he CAN be if he give himself unreservedly to Me. 


No matter who you are dealing with, what you are going through, how big your dreams are, He will walk us through it if we trust Him. And He wants us to dream. Like a child He wants us to come to Him with no restraint and no holding back with bright eyes, big smiles and even bigger dreams. When you're a kid it doesn't matter because you think you can do anything. Who says that has to stop? In Mark it is written

"Truly I say to you, 

whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child

 does not enter it at all"

 (Mark 10:15)

Speaking of dreams... I love this song and it has the same "no matter how big, keep going, even if it kills you." It's the new single from the Eli Young Band  Even if it breaks your heart

"Way back on the radio dial 
A fire got lit inside a bright eyes child
Every note just wrapped around his soul
From steal guitars to Memphis all the way to rock and roll...


Oh, I can hear 'em playing
I can hear the ringing of a beat up old guitar
Oh, I can hear them singing
Keep on dreamin' even if it breaks your heart"

Til the next new day ♥ ,

Reminded Who I Am

Til the next new day ♥ ,

What happened to TN?

If you were to ask me when I was 10 what I was going to do after high school, I would have told you I was going to Tennessee (oh and driving a lime green VW bug. the new one, not the vintage one).

If you were to ask me when I was in junior high what my favorite songs were (you know the "i'll sit in my car and wait for you to end before I turn the engine off" songs) I would have told you "Walking in Memphis" by Marc Cohen (the acoustic piano version) and "Maybe it was Memphis" by Pam Tillis. I guess I wanted to know what a Tennessee lullaby was.

If you were to ask me in high school what schools I was looking at, it was Washington State, Arizona State, the University of Arkansas (randomly enough they have an ok journalism program), Southern Oregon University, California State University in Chico, the University of Oregon (which is where I ended up for my freshman year before transferring to OSU) and the University of Tennessee. Then I was told I didn't need to move across the country. but we all know how that turned out.

If you were to ask me last year what I was going to do when I graduated, I was going to buy a truck, pack it up and straight up move to Franklin (outside Nashville). I even contacted the area director there at one point.

So what happened to TN? Nothing really, but I do think it's interesting how God uses things in our lives to bring us where he wants us in that particular moment. If you look at a map I'm only 2.5 hours away from Memphis. And about 6 from Nashville. 7 from Chattanooga. and like 8 or 9 from Knoxville. It's a very long state. Some have told me before "you're so close, why don't you just keep going?" Others think the only reason why I have a Vols shirt is cause of this guy I met at work. I will have you know that I have had that for quite some time now.

I went to Nashville this summer for the day while I was at Sharp Top and it was one of the best days of my life. I wore my favorite skirt, my favorite boots and went to the Country Music Hall of Fame, StudioB, Wildhorse Saloon, Broadway, and a bunch of other stuff (granted I was there for like 12 hours) but I have never had that much fun by myself! I use to drive back and forth from Conway, AR to Jasper, GA through TN and would always stop in Chattanooga. The river front is really awesome and really pretty. It was a great place for me to relax before finishing my drive.

No I'm not there yet but I think I will be. Someday. Somehow. When or why I couldn't tell you but He buts dreams in you for a reason. He knows what is music to your ears and makes your heart sing and weak at the knees. Some say I need to be an adult now but I say 22 is still growing up. And with growing up comes exploration and adventure.
Well friends, I say I got a lot of adventures to explore.

Amabala Emoh Teews

That's Sweet Home Alabama backwards

It's one of my favorite movies, and recently in a lot of ways I've realized that my life is somewhat similar to the story of Melony Smooter... only backwards... and without the whole marriage/divorce drama. I can honestly say that I don't have that much boy drama in my life.

You see Melanie "Carmichael" Smooter has a past. A past that she tries to run from and does everything to hide. She grew up in Pigeon Creek, Alabama and after things go south (no pun intended) she runs to New York City to start a new life, with a new name, trying to forget what she left. Which was her husband of course. Jake Perry, played by Josh Lucas (who randomly enough was born in Little Rock, AR yet graduated high school in Gig Harbor, WA... and isn't bad to look at either) is a deep south man who is trying to make something of him self somewhere in Alabama while still holding onto a dream he's had since he was ten years old. Mel. She comes back from NY to settle their divorce and long story short well... stays with her roots, doesn't marry the Yankee and Felony Melanie and Mr. Perry stay in Sweet Home Alabama. I don't really feel bad about ruining the ending since the movie is now 10 years old.

But the part that I have always related to Melanie more about would be when she is back in her home town and part remembering why she left and a lot of her character is just trying to find out who she is. I love that she came home back down south and the love story between Melanie and Jake is classic and heart breaking every time but one of my favorites to watch over and over. The reason I call my life backwards from hers well for one, I went backwards. I moved South, and sometimes come home and while I don't re-fall in love with my husband, I do relate how she feels a lot of time. Sometimes I wonder if I am running away from something. I remember on the drive down here thinking, "no body knows me here. I could be a completely different person and no one would know. I could start over. Change my identity and never look back." That's what Melanie did. That is what I have thought about doing before and there are somedays where I just wish I grew up down here. Then I go home and wish I never left.
There is a scene with Jake and Melanie sitting in the "Coon Dog Grave yard" after a night with their friends two stepping when they are talking and Melanie says "I'm happy in New York Jake, but then I come down here and this fits too" then Jake says "who says you can't have both." That's how I feel half the time. Why can't I have both?
What am I looking for?
Why do I want to keep exploring? Keep going places? Where am I even going?
Why am I so restless? What is it that I'm looking for?
You know I use Young Life as the reason I moved but am I actually running from something? Someone? Can I do that? Does it just go away?
You know sometimes I pretend to actually have a southern accent so strangers think I grew up somewhere in TN. Couldn't tell y'all why but I do.
I like being free and being able to just jump in my car on my day off and go somewhere right then and there. But then sometimes I wish I had my best friend I've known since the 10th grade right there with me. Just someone to make more memories with.
When I figure out what I'm doing, I'll call ya. Til the next new day ♥ ,

One More Year?

What would you do if you knew there was only one more year?

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Now well I most definitely do not believe that the world is going to end with 2012 the theory's have got me thinking. What would I do if I knew I only had one more year? Honestly I don't think I know. Make the most of it I guess. I'd laugh everyday. Pray more than that. Tell him I love him. Kiss someone. Dance without caring again. Put it all on the line. Have more dates with myself. Have a date with someone else. Fly home again. Tell my brothers about Jesus. Go visit Jackson in California. Go to Disneyland.... twice! Run a race. Cheer again. Perform again. Visit every YL camp. Keep my room clean. Pay for someones drink behind me in line. Eat some good food. Just not care. Explore TN. Go to another Bowl game. Watch the Beavs one more time.

When thinking this list the one thing I keep thinking is "why can't I do this now?"
I can. I should. I think I'm going to. Maybe. Hopefully.
Most people think I am so strong and courageous and will do almost anything and I will, exept when it comes to myself. If it means doing anything for me then it's a slim chance I won't. I don't even like giving myself breaks at work. I love planning things for other people though. I just don't have anyone to plan for anymore.
I think that was my favorite part about being in a relationship. Planning surprises for them when they are not expecting it. I love getting people things when it's not their bday or christmas, and I love taking someone somewhere I know will put a smile on their face. I guess I'm just a people person. I loved being able to take care of someone. Cook dinner. Give them a shoulder massage. Surprises in the city. Secret notes. I miss it.
Who says 2012 doesn't have to be like that? Til the next new day ♥ ,

Beautiful Dreamer

Random Fact: "Beautiful Dreamer" was one of the first songs I learned to play on the piano. Now while my selection is still VERY limited... I can hold my own on that one.. I think


Dreams are weird. Some dreams I wake up scared and in a cold sweat. Others I wake up laughing. Some dreams I love, some I hate, some I can't remember, others I wish I could forget. But then there are dreams that are so real and so relevant that I just can't shake. And sometimes, I don't necessarily want to. Do you ever get that feeling? A dream so real you have to think hard for a second weather it was a dream or yesterday? Or maybe one that you want to be true so much it hurts. Or here's the weird one, dream deja vu. I have had events happen in real life that I remember clear as day... from a dream.

I have learned that you have to be careful with dreams however. They play with your emotions and confuse the heck out of you and half the time scare me to death but I still think there is a part of me that wants so bad to listen to my dreams and a part of me saying I should.

I have heard so many different theories behind dreams but I think that's because we can't fully explain them or understand where they came from. It is said all over the Old Testament that God used dreams to speak to different people in the scriptures. Who says He doesn't still do that? Some say that dreams are a combination of things that happened that day and your mind is continuing to process them. Most of the dreams I have had nothing to do with the day before. Some say dreams have deep underlying meaning however these meanings usually are along the lines of "you were in a field of wildflowers... that means you are going to have soup for dinner." Nonsense really. Others say dreams is your unconscious coming to life and finally getting a chance to talk telling you what it is you really desire deep down. That would make a lot of sense. And that also kind of goes with the theory presented by one of my icons to this day: Walt Disney <3

A dream is a wish your heart makes

When you're fast asleep

In dreams you will lose your heartache

Whatever you wish for you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday

You're rainbow will come smiling thru

No matter how your heart is grieving

If you keep on believing

The dream that you wish 

Will come true

-Cinderella - Walt Disney- 

I don't really know what to make of the dream I had last night but I will say that I'm not complaining about it.  And I think from what I know, I am going to stick with what I believe. In prayer, faith, and Cinderella :)

Til the next new day ♥ ,

Home in the Morning

Well in the morning I will be jumping on a plane back home to Arkansas. I was able to spend the Christmas weekend in Seattle with my family and it was much needed but has been making me think a lot too.
I like where I am and I am all about spreading your wings and trying something new but I miss being around the people who know me the best and the streets and towns that made me who I am now. Sometimes it worries me of how much curiosity I have because there are so many things that I want to do but I know that I also hold the desire to become a wife and mother and what I want to do with my house and family. Most girls day dream about this by the way. But I like going to movies by myself, I like going to dinner by myself. I know I am young and I know I have time but who knows what God has for me right now. It's hard to plan out the next couple years knowing commitments you already have, dreams you've had forever, things you just want to do, things you can only do when you're single, things you can only do when your married, as well as knowing that at any moment God could throw a curve ball at you and say "oh btw do this too."
Everyone keeps asking, "how long are you down there?" "when are you coming back?" "what exactly are you  doing down there?" "why did you move to Arkansas?" I feel like there are so many different answers to these questions but the truth is, I honestly don't know. This is where God told me to go and I'm going to stay here until He tells me to do something else.
I am not one for living in regret and knowing now that God is always on my side and that I need to abide in Him and also somewhat being brainwashed from an early age with the Disney juice, I get curious, I have a wild imagination and dreams and I know that I am strong enough with the Lord to pursue my dreams.
I have determined that if I could just clone myself my problems will be solved but since I can't I guess prayer, courage to ask and go and listening to where He decides to take me next is the next best thing.
But for now, I have had an awesome couple days spending time with my family, hanging out with my brothers, becoming better friends with my mom, dancing with my friends, and being back where I came from.
Tomorrow morning I head back to the airport for another trip across the country back home to central Arkansas. And no matter what anyone says, I like Arkansas and before you call me a redneck and knock it down again, come visit me! ... then we'll talk.

Til the next new day....






.... for kicks, here are things I want to do in the near distant future....
- go bungee jumping
- work for disney
- go on a disney adventure
- take another trip by myself
- do another single internship at a YL camp
- explore all of TN (road trip across the state)
- go to a rockin new years party in the city
- do the married internship at the Canyon (WFR)
- road trip to Dallas/ FW and go dancing
- drive across the country again
- compete in dance
- coach high school cheer
- be on staff with YL
- work for disney/ disney imagination/ disney adventures
- visit uncle Keith in Austin
- I want to be single
- I want to be in a relationship
- I want to be married
- I want to be single Til the next new day ♥ ,

'Tis the season I guess!

My roommate told me today that she thinks there is something in the water around the NW because it seems like everyday I turn on my computer or get another phone call where all she hears is "seriously?!!" and she knows... Another one got engaged. And it's true! And I love them all so here's to you! All of you! And congratulations to my wonderful friends. I am so excited for all your lives together!

Katia & Josh
Kari & Chris
Bryan & Geneva
Rachel & Stephen (aka Nizz & Steeze)
Adriana & Ryan
Laura & Brett
Brett & Autum (technically not in the NW but.. Still engaged!)
Kelsey & Darrick
Annalise & Thanh
Bucca & Lindsay
Kelsey & Carter

Congratulations y'all!!

why you don't blog while sleeping

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]-p/.

Never. Forever.

     I came across this picture today by route of an old friend of mine and I must say, regardless of how I found it, I like it. This is me at Young Life's Washington Family Ranch in March of 2009. I was a completely different person then and while it seems like ancient days far away, it really wasn't that long ago. I was with different people, in a different state, I had an entirely different view for my life then.... I mean, I didn't even know how to line dance then! Even where I was is different. That sign that says "Wildhorse Canyon" no longer exists, and neither does that name. There is a whole second camp on that property now and new attractions have been added to this one. 

     It's crazy really, how much you change and how much God changes you and the world around you in such a short amount of time. If you were to tell me the day that picture was taken that in exactly 2 years to the month that I was going to be taking everything I knew and moving it two time zones away, there's no way I would believe you. Never. 

     But the reality is I wouldn't change anything that has happened. There are some people that if I saw now, I don't know if they would even recognize me. I'm more confident in my self, I love how I feel, I like how I look, I love what I'm doing, my hair is longer, my smiles wider and yes y'all.... I may have even developed a little bit of a drawl. :) 

     Even with how things change over time and the development that happens there are somethings that just don't change. That picture is over two years old but I can tell you what I was feeling and thinking that very moment. It's hard to put it into words when I stand right where I am standing there. On that property, under that sign. It's been forever since I've been in that spot but I can tell you there is nothing like it. We all have those places, songs, smells, something that will transport you back to a place you never want to leave and never will. No matter what changes around you, no matter if God takes you to the other side of the country there is still that place, that feeling, that will always be the same. Forever.

Do you know how to...

spin 

flip

twist

shottiche

two step 

horseshoe

waltz

pretzel

twist

octopus

cuddle

windmill

pretzel reverse

pretzel cuddle reverse

window

subway

tabletop 

endless pretzel

death drop

drop

dip 

look

dance in the dark

runaway

log roll

tush push

watermelon crawl

lace up

double spin

butt spin

pull through

varsuvian

tuck 

turn

illusion

Alright, let's talk :)